5 posts tagged “names”
For her birthday, Margaret got a stuffed animal. It is a lovely, fluffy light tan colored golden retriever puppy. She really thought long and hard before christening this new baby of hers. (if you you have followed this blog for a while, you know that my daughter really likes the, um, *original* names....) And so, after much introspection, this is the name she gave him --
FUDGEPUPPY
Am I terrible that this name makes me crack up every time she says it? It is just so vaguely...obscene. But totally and completely a plausible name for a stuffed dog. Right?
Fudgepuppy.
Sit, Fudgepuppy!
Come here, Fudgepuppy!
Sic, Fudgepuppy.
That poor puppy would never make it through Junior High alive.
You know my stuffed Rabbit named "Bunny"? They one I have had forever and who has been all over the world with me? My childhood friend and confidant?
Yeah, well, my own dear child has decided that she will now be Bunny's new caretaker. And the first thing to be done is to give Bunny a new name. The new name Maggie selected? ......"Smutty"
Nice.
Maggie: (looking closely at her dark brown teddy bear) Mom, what is this teddy bear's name again?
Me: I don't remember. What do you think it might be?
Maggie: Oh, right, I remember. It's "Lip balm"
Me: Uhhhh, Okay.
Maggie: (taking a closer look at the bear) What a minute...this is a boy bear! So, his name is "Henry".
Ahhhh, yes, "Lip balm" -- the name that only applies to girls. Naturally! So, all you pregnant ladies out there, make sure that you do NOT name your baby boys "Lip balm" it is so OBVIOUSLY a girl name. Sheesh!
On a totally unrelated topic, but one which fits in nicely with the title of this entry...
Oh my God, check out the photo of my roses!!!! This photo was taken on the 28th of October. Crazy. California is freakin' crazy!
As I was getting Maggie dressed for bed tonight, she asked, out of the blue, "Mom, when am I getting my chicken?"
Being unaware of ANY chicken promises that I had made, I answered, "uhhh -- never."
She thought about that for a while, then told me, "I guess I will just have to write a letter to Santa then. I need a chicken for a pet."
I asked her what exactly she would DO with a chicken.
"Feed it." She answered right away. "Do we have corn?"
So, I indulged her. "Uhh huh, we have corn. But after you feed a pet chicken, THEN what do you do?"
She looked at me and grinned. "Put a leash on it and take it for walks."
"Ah, of course."
"And I would name the chicken 'Hogie' " She stopped and thought about that name for a little while..."Or we could name it 'Butterfly Kiss'. But I need that chicken."
I am fairly certain that our HOA regulations do not allow for chickens in our townhouse's tiny, enclosed backyard. But I may be wrong. We'll see if Santa brings any Christmas miracles this year.
My name is "Ms. Mudd." Mmmm hmmm. That is what my weirdo daughter informed me last week. That she would now be calling me "Ms. Mudd" and Kevin's new name, you might ask?
"Grampa Undies".
Yep. Also, later this weekend, she will be having a playdate with her new friend, "Tofu". I asked her what her friend Tofu is like. She looked at me like I was crazy and replied, "squishy".
But the main person that Maggie likes to give new names to is herself. On her birthday she woke up and let everyone know that she would no longer be responding to the name "Maggie". No. Her name was now "Princess Curls".
Ughhhh. For anyone who knows me, I hate anything and everything that smacks of princesses. I NEVER EVER call my child "princess" because I am afraid I may throw up a little bit when I say it. I guess I am getting my comeuppance for all that ranting and raving. But also? Princess Curls ? Um, My daughter has lovely hair and all, but there are not any curls of which to speak. None. Flat flat flat -- like cornsilk.
When we came home on the plane from Arlington, I told the stewardess that it was my daughter's 4th birthday. The stewardess asked Maggie her name. "Princess Curls", she said, proudly. When asked to repeat it, she remained firm. So, "Princess Curls" got a fabulous shout out on the PA system.
She started school the next day. She introduced herself to EVERYONE as "Princess Curls" It was on her nametag. It was written on her art. I had moms coming up to me after class the second week, "Ummmm, my daughter told me that she was playing with a little girl named Princess Curls, is that Your daughter? What an interesting name..." Of course, each time I politely told them, that, no, I didn't actually NAME her that. It wasn't on the birth cerificate or anything, stop backing away from me like I am a crazy person. My daughter chose that name for herself.
This lasted up until last week, when she came home with a new name on her artwork. "N. N." (??) Whatever. Anything is better than Princess.
