Corndog Queen

Yesterday my child sidled up to me as I sat at the dinner table, and drawled, "Hey, old lady."

Ummmm. I haven't even hit 39 yet. Where's the love? We had a talk about what is and is not appropriate to say to other people....

But apparently we did not cover all the topics. Because today, as I slipped on my new polka dotted swim suit. (Which I thought was pretty cute, when I got it) Maggie helpfully pointed out, "Hey mom, you look like a spotted potato!" Great. That was just the look I was going for. Lumpy Root Vegetable = Hot! 

This kid. Where did she come from? She has hit a really fun stage, lately. (When she isn't commenting on my appearance). She has started writing little stories on scrap paper, and creating props to go with the story. Last week she found inspiration in a silly  card I gave Kevin for Father's Day.

Then she took a lemon that she had brought back from Gramy and Grampy's house and colored on it with markers: From there, she wrote this little caption for the adventure of Super Lemon. Uh, I mean "Soopr Lemin"... Translation: "Super Lemon saving the hanging out man (Homer Simpson) from falling"  I think my favorite part is the little colored drawing of super lemon. Very heroic, don't you think?

Maggie has also been very vocal about wanting a dog. We are not ready for a dog yet. But she keeps finding things around the house to use as surrogate dogs. Here is her latest attempt:

Mmmm hmmm. That is a plastic baggie of water with a leash tied around its "neck". Earlier in the day, she was showing me how "Truckie" (his name is Truckie because he likes to chase trucks, natch.) -- likes to be scratched behind his "ears".  Kevin and I both had to strongly discourage her from taking Truckie for a walk (drag) --as that sort of activity might just be the end to the poor little waterbag dog.
 

And finally, I present to you this video: Of Maggie singing the part of an evil enchantress from the Barbie movie called "Barbie and the Diamond Castle" I know, I know. Stop rolling your eyes. I didn't buy it for her. We got it from the library. Anyway, she became enamored with the movie, and immediately memorized ALL of the songs on the soundtrack. But this one cracks me up the most, because of her choice of outfits while singling the dastardly lyrics. Please be warned that there is much spinning and dashing too and fro in this video. Apparently the wicked temptress has ADD. But if you can make it through all of her spazzy hyperactivity, the last few seconds are priceless.
  

Yes. That IS a "hot dog on a stick" hat. (From the corndog fastfood restaurant at the mall)  Because nothing says malevolent like a multi-colored corndog hat.

Last week, Kevin and I put Maggie down to bed, and went off to do our nighttime chores. About 15 minutes after I had shut her door, I heard the sound of weeping coming from her room. I went in to see what the matter was. Here is the conversation that followed:

Me: What's the matter, honey?

Maggie: My body feels different.

Me: You feel sick?

Maggie: No, my body is different.

Me: You mean, different from the other kids?

Maggie (getting really riled up now, since I can't understand why she is so upset): No No NO! My body is different. I am getting older and now I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm not the same as when I was four! I want to stay the same.

And then she sobbed with abandon. Mourning her lost childhood  -- at the tender age of 5 and a half.

Of course, we had a big long discussion of all of the wonderful things in life she still has to look forward to -- the two wheel bike rides, the friends in 1st grade, being tall enough to ride on the good rides, being old enough to someday be a mommy herself, etc... But it made me a little sad, too.

If she is feeling this way now, what am I in for when she hits the teenage years?

Oh, my dear, sweet, sensitive daughter. I hope that when these changes come, I will have the answers you need to hear. 

Oh man. Sob fest. Two weekends ago was a sob fest filled with too many old people and not enough kleenex.

First of all, Maggie had her dance recital. And while she is very cute and all,

and danced her heart out, I did not cry during her performance. What I DID cry for? This: Because come on. Right? I am not the only person on the planet who cries when seniors tap dance, am I?

Then. Then.... We took Maggie out to see a movie in the theater for the first time together. (I know. How is it possible that the child is almost 6 years old and we hadn't taken her to a movie????!!! Well, actually, when she was four months old, we took her with us to see The Lord of the Rings. But that doesn't count. And probably would put us on the list for the Worst Parenting EVER award.) Anyway. We went to go see UP in the theater. The movie about the 78 year old balloon salesman who misses his beloved wife. 

Holy Crap. Take Kleenex. It was so good. I mean, really really good. For kids and parents. But the crying started in the first 10 minutes and then was pretty consistent throughout. And I was not the only Campbell who was affected. ahem. We are all softies.

Ha. This is sort of funny, because I just had a toenail incident this past Friday! At my local manicure place around the corner. I hadn't been in a really long time. But my beautiful ($4) pedicure that I got in Thailand was starting to wear off, and I found that I had a free afternoon. So hey, why not treat myself to a pedicure?!

This past week has been hellish. There were meetings at church, open house at school on Wednesday until 9:30, Maggie's dance dress rehearsal on Thursday until 8:30, and then the weekend was looking like it was going to be one activity after another.

But on Friday....ahhhh....sweet Friday, Maggie had gone for her very first sleepover at a classmate's house. So Kevin and I had the night to ourselves -- for the first time in a long time. And I planned to enjoy every minute I had. I called the pedicure place ahead of time, to make sure the lady I like was there. Tina. She was the one who did this to my toes. I like her. I was assured that I had an appointment at 5pm.

I got there at 5 PM on the dot. And saw another woman being escorted by Tina to the pedicure chair. Aghhhhhh! This did not bode well. But Tina assured me it would only be a few minutes. So, there I sat in the uncomfortable chairs, waiting for my turn. My seat mate was an 18 month old boy who was apparently half pterodactyl -- judging from the ear piercing screeches he was making every few seconds. What? An 18 month old boy? What was he doing in a nail place, you might be asking.... Yeah, I was wondering that too.  But the mom didn't have time to actually watch him. She was concerned with the bright red fingernail polish she was instructing the manicurist to apply to her 7 year old daughter's nails. The mom, herself was getting her acrylic nails replaced, and she did this while holding ANOTHER baby under one of her arms. Yep. Three kids under 7 in the nail place. Lovely.

After 1/2 an hour of waiting, I was ushered to the foot soak. And once my feet were in there, I really couldn't leave. Even though I was tempted. Repeatedly. Because the mom of three kids was there the WHOLE time. And the baby boy was squawking and then...then...the mom got a call on her cell phone. Which apparently she HAD to take. So she put the baby down. Down on the nasty floor where everybody's toenail clipping are and god knows what else. And then the baby, who must have been about 8 months old, proceeded to crawl with the speed of a racehorse over to my foot bath. I was sure she was going to drown herself in it, and it would all be over. But the mom suddenly looked up from her phone conversation and noticed what was going on. She bellowed out "Natalie! Get back here!"  (Yeah, nice, huh? The kid had my name, so I got to hear it yelled repeatedly during my "relaxing" time at the manicurist)  And the baby, who was a total escape artist, turned toward her mother, giggled, and slap slap slap across the tile floor, edged her way closer to certain death in my massaging foot spa.  Finally the mom got up, and with the phone held to one ear on her shoulder, came and scooped her daughter up with the the other arm and took her back to her seat.

All of this was commented on loudly by the screeching pterodactyl boy in the seating area. To her credit, the 7 year old girl with the inappropriate nail polish was totally behaving herself. So anyway, the mom sat down, put her nails back out to have them touched up, and put the baby back down. And little baby Natalie...you guessed it...headed right back towards me. slap slap slap.

I could go on. But I will not. You get the idea. I didn't even wait for my toenails to dry. As soon as she slapped the polish on, I was out of there. Ughhhh. WHY would a person take three young kids with them to the manicurist? Why?

In happier news, Kevin and I had a wonderful dinner out. (With the cell phone in my pocket the whole time, just in case Maggie had to call from her sleep over --which she did not) We had crepes, and then we walked over to the local Indian Movie Theater which has just started showing American films, and watched Star Trek. I have never even seen one episode of Star Trek in my life. And I watched one of the movies with Kevin one time because he couldn't believe I had never seen Star Trek (we watched the one with the Whales and it was SOOOOOOO stupid) But anyway, I knew that Kevin really wanted to see the movie and he had been working when his friends all went to see it together, so I suggested that we go see it on our romantic date night together. I honestly thought he was going to swoon when I suggested it.  Ha. But, I must admit, it was a totally fun movie. Also, it didn't hurt that the guys in the movie were really cute. Way cuter than William Shatner EVER was.     

There is so much stuff going on right now, I don't know where to start. Here are possible blog topics that I have thought about writing, but can't decide which to pursue.

1) Maggie's Dance Recital (yes, it is that time of year again)

2) Open house night at our school last week

3) My thoughts on my first year back to work

4) Maggie's entry in the school's talent show

5) Summer plans

6) Girl Scouts

7) Moving to another country

8) Exercise and weight gain

9) The star trek movie

10) Church

11) Our new Water Park

12) Teaching art

13) Teaching 8th graders

14) Teaching in a super duper small school

15) All the things I love at Trader Joe's

Hmmmm. That is  a lot. Any suggestions?

Last Weekend the weather was divine, and we drove up to the city to enjoy it. My friend D. was running in a race called Bay to Breakers  where the runners (thousands of them) run from the Bay Bridge to the beach. I think. Anyway, it is across the city. Up and down hills. And it is a quintessential San Francisco thing. With all kinds of people dressed up in costumes, and themes, and, of course, naked people. We promised D. we would meet her at the end of it, and pass her a back pack she needed to get home.

But the streets are closed off and the parking is craziness, so we decided to park on a random street near the beach (the finish line) and bike down the Great Highway to meet her in Golden Gate park. Oh. Man. So nice. The entire Great Highway was closed to cars, so we zoomed down it, with the smell of the ocean in the air, the breeze on us. Maggie was in the trailer. (She is too big for the trailer. She is almost six, people! God love Kevin for hauling that thing behind his bike...)
 

But we were traveling a long way, and her little bike with the training wheels wouldn't have made it. So we (meaning Kevin) hauled her to the finish line, and met up with D.  We weren't allowed in to the big party tent area where they have the costume contest and all of the bands and stuff, because we had our bikes. Sigh. So we sat near the gates under a eucalyptus tree and had our lunch, and watched people pass.

There were lots of themes this year. We saw two different sets of crayons

and there were lots of super heroes. And a bunch of octomoms. (Women dressed as an octopus with a baby in each tentacle) There were all kinds of references to the swine flu and a 15 foot flying pig costume that was jogging and had a sign that said "I outran the swine flu". (I was riding my bike at the time, so I couldn't take a photo). There were also lots and lots of drunk people. And skanky looking people who were getting terrible sunburns as they sat on their shopping cart "floats" and were pushed through the crowd. And, of course, there were naked people. This was my favorite. He was just sort of shuffling along. Wearing the hat. He also had on tennis shoes. And he was carrying a purpletinkerbell softpac lunchbag. Good old San Francisco.

We took a break from all of the chaos to go and sit near the DeYoung museum and listen to music at the bandstand. We lay under a big old palm tree and Kevin and Maggie played the pillow game (where they each pretend like they think the other one is a pillow. Hours of hilarity, let me tell you.) And we searched successfully for four leaf clovers.

 
And we just vegged. It felt so good. And the day was only half over.  From there we got on our bikes and headed back to the beach. We packed up our bikes, and grabbed our beach stuff from the back of the car. It was so nice down there. Maggie entertained herself while we lazed around.

 We collected tons of sanddollars that were littering the beach, and created designs from them. Honestly, everywhere we looked there were sand dollars! Most of them were broken, but we did find three perfect circles. There is something so satisfying about a sand dollar.

By the time the day was over, it was dinner time, so we wrapped up the day with dinner at a place that was right around the corner. Golden Gate Pizza and Indian Cuisine. Mmmmm.  I love this city. 

   

Well, let me tell you. My daughter is learning about insects. Here, I will have her show you what she knows:

This kills me every time. The little fingers at the side. The abdomen patting. The weird little buggy thing she does after the first time she says "sometimes wings." All of it. Plus, she really does know what an insect is. Yesterday, I saw a big spider in the corner, and I yelled "Eeeek! An insect!" And she turned to me, rolled her eyes, and chided, "Mo -om, that's an arachnid, not an insect!"

Last weekend really was glorious. The weather was perfect, and so we went to Santa Cruz for the day on Saturday. We got up fairly early, drove down, got a parking spot right next to the boardwalk, and went on all of the rides.

The new ride for 2009 was the Sea Swings. They are right over the beach, and every time we went around, we would catch a view of the waves rolling in. So nice.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

For lunch we had corndogs. For a snack we had kettle corn. And for a late afternoon treat we chowed down on dippin' dots for Maggie and chocolate dipped soft serve for us. Mmmmmmm. Just thinking about it now is making my stomach hurt a little. But we were at the board walk. What are you gonna do? You've got to eat the food! I had brought along healthy carrots and snack crackers, but, ummmm, with the smell of funnel cakes wafting through the air...the healthy stuff never stood a chance.....

When we were done with boardwalk activities, we walked to the car (only a minute away -- thank you parking mojo!) and got all of our beach supplies. The blankets, the diggers, the towels and the swimsuits, and plopped ourselves on the nice warm sand, and relaxed. Maggie and Kevin even got a little bit wet in the freezing cold Pacific ocean. But not I! I read my Newsweek magazine and dozed in the sun.

The next morning was Mother's day. Kevin and Maggie brought me breakfast in bed

(which quickly moved to the floor  -- chocolate on the white sheets was not my idea of fun) I was singing Trader Joe's praises all morning (and of course, I was singing the praises of the lovely family who prepared it, too )  But let me tell you -- if you haven't had their chocolate croissants yet (in the freezer section -- they need to proof overnight) Well, if you haven't tried those croissants -- then you need to RUN out to get them. Now. 

Also, I got some sweet cards. Very satisfying. Happy Day.

And it was only just starting! After that I got to go to the Farmer's Market - alone! So nice. And shopping (just to return stuff and run errands) But I did it with out a 5 year old attached to me. Ahhhhhh. So relaxing. Happy Mother's Day to me.

Later in the day we went up to see Kevin's parents and to celebrate his mom. It was Mother's Day, after all. And also her  birthday. We doubled up on the love. And tried to celebrate her twice as much. The mojitos got the party started!
 

And it was such a gorgeous day. We sat out in the back yard, under the Persimmon tree. And the flowers were all coming up around us, and the sun was shining. And we were there with the people whom we love most in the world (if only my parents could have been there, too) And we enjoyed a delicious dinner and good conversation, and a wonderful day. And that was how I spent my Mother's Day weekend.

This morning I was rushing out of the house, late, as usual. I had about a million things to pack in the car. Totebag filled with all of my graded work? Check.  Maggie's backpack, complete with signed permission slip, lunchbox and extra sweater? Check. Laundry basket full of washed rags and towels for my art room? Check. My lunchbox filled with leftovers from the weekend to eat for lunch? Check.  Trader Joe's bag filled to the top with library books I checked out over the weekend for my first grade class? Check. Coffee cup? Oh, no -- I rushed back inside to grab it! Okay. Ready. The front seat was piled high with all of my crap to take to school. Pretty typical.

On my way across Fremont to pick up Maggie's friend and take them both to school, I looked in the rear view mirror, and realized that a cop was signaling for me to pull over. I slowed down and went to the curb. And then I began digging in the pile to find my purse. My purse that held my license and registration and proof of insurance. Uhhhhhh....... No where to be found. And here came Mr. Officer.

He was as nice as could be as he asked for anything that would indicate I was who I said I was. He was content with an old car registration I found crumpled up on the bottom of the glovebox. He looked at it calmly and asked me if I had noticed the stop sign that I had just gone through. Um. No. I swear to God! I drive that way every. single. day. And for the life of me, I couldn't remember where a stop sign might be that I had missed. So, ahem, I think it is fair to say that, yeah -- I ran though the stop sign.

I was mortified. Very apologetic. He wrote me a ticket, and assured me that I was not a bad person. He actually said that!  "Don't worry, you aren't a bad person".

  Apparently he didn't see what I had found in the back of my Subaru hatchback during my desperate attempt to find my license -- a gigantic bottle of opened rum, rolling around in the hatchback -- a remnant from the mojitos we had made for mother's day up at Kevin's parents' house the night before. Kevin had been in charge of unpacking the back of the car, and somehow, he forgot to take in the gallon (I kid you not -- a gallon) of rum.  And there it was, in plain sight, open. In my car. My uninsured, unlicensed, unregistered car piled to the roof with crap. 

Let's just say I was lucky to only get the ticket for going through a stop sign....

Oh. And I was late for school. VERY late. What a way to start the week.

UPDATE: As I was looking over the police citation, I noticed that the officer had filled in all of the little information boxes. And since he didn't have my license to take notes from, he just improvised. He got my hair color right, eye color right, even my height right and he never even saw me stand up. But...BUT... he wrote down that I was TWENTY pounds heavier than my actual weight. Twenty pounds! I know it is stupid, but that is upsetting me almost as much as the dumb ticket. Sigh.   

The other day I was at the neighborhood Safeway, shopping with Maggie. She was ahead of me, skipping down the aisle, her blond braids swinging. As I perused the sour cream section, an older gentleman came over to me, his blue eyes twinkling. He put his hand on my arm and nodded his head in Maggie's direction.

"I just had to come over and tell you," He said with a smile. "When I see your sweet little girl, I can't help but think of..."

And let's just stop right there, shall we? Because, what I was expecting was something like this: "When I see your sweet little girl, I can't help but think of my daughter at that age." Or maybe "I can't help but think of my granddaughter who six this week." Or something along those lines. Right? I did Meals on Wheels for years and years, I pretty much thought I had heard all of the "I remember when" comments from older folks.

So, I stood there, nodding, smiling, and waiting for his friendly comment. But this is what came out of his mouth:

"When I see your sweet little girl, I can't help but think of that girl in Tracy who was murdered a while back. Such a Tragedy"

Oh Man, I wish there had been a video camera on my face right then, because it went from friendly and interested to absolutely horrified, but trying not to look TOO horrified, because obviously, he wasn't a child killer, right? RIGHT? And there he was, with his hand casually placed on my arm, looking deeply into my eyes. And Oh My God. I just sort of sputtered something like, "Oh my Goodness!" And slowly backed away with a tub of sour cream in one hand, and Maggie's hand clutched firmly in the other.

I know he wasn't a child murderer. He was just trying to be conversational. But jeez. He needs to work on his conversation starting material. That was VERY uncomfortable.